You

...and I wanna play hide-and-seek 
and steal your clothes 
tell you I love your shoes 
and sit on the steps while you take a bath 
and massage your neck 
and kiss your face
and hold your hand
and go for a walk
not mind when you eat my food
talk about your day
and laugh at your paranoia
and give you tapes you don't listen to
watch great films
watch terrible films
and tell you about the tv programme I saw the night before
and not laugh at your jokes
want you in the morning
but let you sleep in for a while
tell you how much I love
your eyes
your lips
your neck
and worry when you're late
and be amazed when you're early
be sorry when I'm wrong
and happy when you forgive me
look at your photos
wish I'd known you forever
hear your voice..
in my ear
feel your skin..
on my skin
and get scared when you're angry
and tell you you're beautiful
and hug you when you're anxious
and hold you when you're hurt
and want you when I see you
and whimper when I'm next to you
and whimper when I'm not
and melt when you smile
and dissolve when you laugh
and buy you presents you don't want
but not understand how you think I'm rejecting you
when I'm not rejecting you
and wonder who you are
but accept you anyway
but I want what you want
and think I'm losing myself but
I'll tell you the worst of me
and try to give you the best of me
because
you don't deserve any less
answer your questions when I'd rather not
and tell you the truth 
when I really don't want to
and try to be honest
because I know you prefer it.

Just outside of Austin

     Oricat mi-am spus ca trebuie sa fac sau nu ceva, lucrurile au luat turnura care era de altfel normala. Imi spusesem a dracului de multe lucruri, devenisem semi-furioasa si hotarata ca de azi.. gata! Mi-am trasat directii si linii imaginare, standarde si obiective pe cat se poate de departe de realitate. Evident, certitudinile mi s-au transformat in praf si pulbere. Si-apoi am ras. De naivitatea omului, de modul in care ratiunea o ia la vale in unele momente, de dorinte inca neimplinite.

      Iubirea nu-i despre lucruri calculate. Nu-i despre certitudini sau pumni stransi. Ii despre fragilitate, la fel ca o pereche de ciorapi de 15 DEN.  E despre zile cand e irelevata vremea de-afara sau ce zi e. E despre momentele cand nu te mai gandesti la fericire pentru c-o simti.

     Iubirea mea s-a plimbat prin multe locuri. Prin buzunarul lui R. care nu stia ce-i aia iubirea. Prin patul lui B. care se temea de ea si nu-si permitea sa recunoasca asta. Prin parul lui S. caruia i-a fost frica. Prin maneca lui M. care si-a atins limitele.
   
    Au avut efect toate astea. Si bun si mai putin bun. M-au facut mai pretentioasa si in acelasi timp mai intelegatoare.

    Ma mai bucur din cand in cand de un pahar de vin rece sau de-un film bun. De un dus impreuna sau de un episod de-amuzament la 12 noaptea. Inca am frici care ma tin activa si-mi trezesc rationamentul si judecata. Si-atunci ma opresc si zic, ia stai putin..

    Rad atat de mult. Sunt sarutata si imbratisata mai mult decat imi pot imagina. "Sambata ne faci pui la cuptor?" Dansam si lumea se opreste. "L-am vazut.. si ce? Tu esti a mea."

    Things turn one way or another in the end.


"Those nights when it's just you and me
Or maybe soon we could be three
It ain't so bad a place to raise a kid
Or maybe we should wait a while
No need to hurry nothing
I'm just saying I'd be happy of we did"